So,
if you've reached this section,
perhaps
you're warm for my form? Cool.
The thing is... As an introvert, I'm pretty good at being single, so
I'm typically holding out for someone I could actually have a life-long
friendship with, before we take things anywhere else.
I see men say over and over that they
hate writing profiles. It seems they would
rather answer endless questions in person. To me, that
sounds HIDEOUS.
I would much rather create my own FAQ.
Skip past all the getting to
know you chitchat and start having real conversations about things like
hopes and
dreams... I've got a mountain of projects, and 3.5 billion men to sort
through. I prefer the efficiency.
I came out to myself at 17 largely because I discovered my love for maximum
glutes. It took me a few more years to make my coming out official. In that time,
I tended to be anywhere from packing on a few extra pounds, to double
my healthy weight. Believe it or not, that contributed to me being
quite an unpopular gay man. Then, I lost a lot of weight, and I thought, okay,
this ought to resolve my unpopularity. Here's the result, to the right. Unfortunately,
the body got skinny, but the
brain still behaved like the proverbial fat girl at the high school dance. Yes, I
did have some fun, and found out some encouraging news about myself. I went to Long
Beach Pride and met a great guy -- from the other side of the country. I
actually got to be in the West Hollywood Pride Parade, and I don't
remember being booed or hissed at for a change, but I was bored out of
my
gourd. And then I did Pride here in my own back yard, Orange County. I
think I was mentally done...
The problem hadn't been the weight. It was my personality! Yay! No sarcasm
there... You see, I happen to like my personality.
If others don't, I can stop worrying
about trying to please them... I spent most of my life doing things the
way I thought I
was supposed to, the way the world said was right. And it made me
miserable.
When I fully realized that, in 2013, I decided to listen to my own
heart for a
change... I met some really great men that I hope to know for the
rest of my life. And I've become acquainted online with a few more I
hope to
meet in the near future... I don't necessarily believe in The One, but
if
there is one, maybe it'll be one of them, when my schedule permits. Or
maybe not... The real lesson has been that I like myself, and enjoy my
own company enough that I no longer fear winding up alone.
Remember
that pic on the right? Yeah, I'm about
double that weight again. Yet, I have the self-confidence at my current
weight
that I wish I'd had as a skinny fella. I like what I like, and I'm
content to stay at home, until I find someone else who enjoys the same
things. Better still, I now have the confidence to go and do those
things independently. In fact, it will take a very special person not
to slow me down.