Frequent,
Annoying Questions
What, you thought I was kidding about having a FAQ?
There are so many fascinating things to talk about, but it seems there
are also so many that are not fascinating, yet people seem to want to
know all about them. So, let's go ahead and knock 'em out. If you have
anything not answered here, do please feel free to use any of those
links below to get in touch. If it's interesting, I'll reply directly.
If not, well, check back here for updates.
Sup?
Verb. Synonym for dine. Ex.: "I'd like to sup with my baby tonight/ Fill the cup with my baby
tonight/ But I ain't
up to my baby tonight/ 'Cause it's too darn hot." I do not reply to it.
While
we're at it... Woof. Onomatopoeia. Used to indicate sexual interest,
while simultaneously saying, "I am absolutely not willing to put in any
more work than typing four letters -- five with exclamation point."
Which also says, "Hi, I'm a lazy bottom." Collectively, these are
called "Salutations," which gay men typically conflate with
"Conversation."
Why didn't you respond to me?
Did you
send me a a one-word message like the examples above? That will get you
a quick ignore. For that matter, if you ignore anything important in my
profile, you will be ignored in kind. If you did not read the words
I've already written, why should I write you more? That goes double for
someone I already know who sends me messages on places where I
specifically go to network with new people.
Are
you active on social media?
Actually, that's a question I'd love to get more often. ModHatter is my
screenname for any personal profiles, and TallMisterHall is for my
writing. I also have several Facebook groups, such as:
You're not the only gay man in Cypress
(though I presently am the only member)
Gay
Orange County & Long Beach
Afternoon Walk Club, LA/OC Border
And of course, my pet project, The Zen Gay Free Love Commune
What about Apps?
Let me explain something... Each of my thumbs is roughly an inch
across. Oh, and they're thumbs. If there's an app with an intelligent
desktop-based companion, let me know, and we will have fantastic
conversations. Or, more likely, I will pepper you with fantastic
messages, and you will reply with an emoji... No, non-desktop apps are
not for me, long-term. Yes, you can find me on a few, and I am there to a) promote
the site you're currently reading this on, and maybe get you to
download a book (unless you really want a paperback to sign or in some
other way personalize some day, ebooks really are better for me, and
the planet), b) convince you to send me your email or ask for mine, so
I can correspond with you on a full-sized keyboard, or c) make it known
on RARE occasions that I am entertaining the notion of meeting someone
in person. When doing so, I typically say where I will be, in hopes of
you meeting me there and saying hello. I might also pay you a visit if
you are REALLY nearby -- that's sort of the only thing GPS apps
accomplish for me -- but type fast and concisely because it's really
not my thing. I usually specify these terms in said app profiles, so if
you ignore them, I will do the same to you. Do unto others, and all
that.
Texting?
Dear sweet Jesus Lord... I got a "smart" phone because the ability to
exchange real email by phone renders texting obsolete, and officially
stupid.
Can we talk on the phone?
In the past two years, I think I have let down my guard enough to give
out the number of my Batphone to two people. One is a dear man that I
consider like family -- I mean, not like my blood relatives,
God forbid, but someone I want in my life for the next 40 years. The
other was a man who had a confusing ability to make both of my heads
agree on him, but as soon as he phoned, I can only hope that that was
the THC speaking (and singing), because if he was sober, that's even
more scary... At any rate, 50% is not a fantastic success rate... Back
in the days of non-smart phones, I only wanted to hear from you by
phone if you were lost, or running late. Except late people suck, so
only if you're lost. Now GPS should keep you from getting lost too, so,
no, you email me. And if the rapport is strong we can meet, and if that
goes well, numbers can then be exchanged. But they should still be used
sparingly.
Are you anti-social?
Depends
on the society I
guess... I love people, in the abstract. I love a club, where the
music's good and I can dance. I do not tend to enjoy bars, where all I
can really do is stand around and hope someone will talk to me. The
correct term for me is Introvert. But also, exhibitionist. As I like to
say, I'm shy, not bashful.
Why do you never meet up?
If you mean hook up, never say never. I prefer to go where people hook
up and cut to the chase, rather than go to a virtual stranger's house
and hope it doesn't end with him telling me, "It puts the lotion in the
basket!" Beyond that, I in fact DO meet up. But, I'm a live-in,
full-time caregiver, so what free time I do carve out, I like to enjoy.
That usually means a walk or hike, miniature golf, a movie, somewhere
with a hot tub, etc... Someone who would also enjoy those activities is
welcome to join me. If you have other ideas, I used to have a 24 Hour
Rule -- if you want to hang out Saturday, you'd better ask me by Friday
at the latest. Nowadays, I need to arrange for someone to cover for me,
so now it's the Week Ahead Rule -- not necessarily 7 days, but let me
know by Saturday if you'd like to get together sometime between Sunday
and the following Saturday... It is true, if the rapport is not there,
I will be in no hurry to take it offline, but unless you've got horns
and a tail, I will probably never move you to the Discard Pile. I will
keep the options open. However, when the correspondence is satisfying,
I probably will respond favorably to meeting within the first week. If
I'm feeling really confident, I might even be the first to suggest it.
So, no hosting?
Currently,
no. I do sometimes contemplate turning the garage into a sex dungeon.
Or, fixing up (and soundproofing) in here to have a gentleman caller.
But he would have to be a true gentleman, and not just a casual trick.
So, no, it's your place. Or a parked van (too tall for car action), behind a tree... It really is
a shame about the back patio at Pistons last time I went...
And you don't drive?
That USED to be true, far longer than average. I got my license at 35,
and then it took me a few years to buy a car... I do still
hate driving. And I avoid it when I can. For every mile away you are, I
am exponentially less interested in something casual with you. For that
matter, even if we became corresponding friends online, we would not be
able to hang out in person that often. Not a deal breaker for me by any
means. Some of my favorite people on the planet, I only see once in a
blue moon. But if it's a deal breaker for you, I understand.